Understanding the Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Sometimes, jumping into a relationship too quickly without really screening a person might land you someone who is emotionally unavailable. This can be especially heartbreaking to someone who gives so much in hopes of having their partner reciprocate their feelings.

When they don’t, you begin to find yourself resenting them. In this blog post, we’ll explore the signs of an emotionally unavailable partner, how to navigate this type of relationship, and when it’s time to let go.

1. They Avoid Emotional Conversations:

One of the clearest signs that your partner is emotionally unavailable is when they avoid conversations that involve their feelings. This could be something as simple as brushing off a serious conversation you are trying to have with them about how you feel or as complex as avoiding a discussion about the future of your relationship. When you try to express yourself, they may respond with silence, dismissiveness, defensiveness, or even anger.

2. They Keep You at Arm’s Length:

It’s frustrating when you give so much of your time to someone and it is not reciprocated. Another sign of emotional unavailability is when your partner keeps you at arm’s length. They may seem distant, uninterested in your life, or unwilling to let you get too close. As soon as you get a little closer, they start finding ways to push you away.

They may also prioritize other things over spending time with you, such as work, friends, or hobbies. If you’re with someone who does this, I know it can be challenging to feel like you’re in a real relationship. It might be time to reevaluate the relationship.

If you have a hard time spotting what an emotionally available partner looks like.  I did this video to help you below. (Article continued below).

3. They Don’t Open Up:

People who are emotionally unavailable often have a hard time opening up about themselves. They may not share their thoughts, feelings, or fears with you. When you try to have a deep conversation, they may shy away, give you one-word answers, or change the subject. They start making jokes to lighten the mood because feelings and fears are just too much for them to be vulnerable. Meaningful connections start with vulnerability. If they can’t open up, how the heck are you supposed to build a deeper connection and intimacy?

4. They Have a Fear of Commitment:

Many emotionally unavailable people fear commitment. They may have trouble committing to you or to any long-term plans. They may have a history of avoiding relationships altogether or sabotaging them when things get serious. It can make you feel uneasy dating someone who doesn’t want to talk about your future together. It is a true sign that they are not ready for a commitment if they keep avoiding the conversation.

You are better off being alone than constantly chasing someone to love you. In my Conscious Dating Program, I share how you can become the “chooser” of the right relationship for you rather than settle for a BTN = better than nothing relationship. You deserve more than that, you know it!

5. You Don’t Feel Secure:

One of the most challenging aspects of being with someone who is emotionally unavailable is that it can make you feel insecure. You’ll notice that your anxiety level is at its highest in a relationship with someone emotionally unavailable. You may begin to question whether you’re attractive, interesting, or lovable enough. This can lead to depression and a lack of self-esteem. In reality, it has nothing to do with you, instead, it has everything to do with who you choose to be invested in.

Leveling up your dating picker starts with you learning to love yourself enough to have boundaries. Not letting someone treat you less than you deserve. It’s important to remember that this isn’t your fault and that you deserve to be with someone who can give you the emotional support you need.

Being with an emotionally unavailable partner can be a painful and difficult experience. However, it’s important to remember that you can always choose to walk away if you feel like your needs aren’t being met. If you’re with someone who is emotionally unavailable, try to have an honest conversation about your feelings. If they’re willing to work on themselves and their emotional availability, there may be hope for your relationship.

If not, it may be time to let go and find someone who can give you the love and support you deserve. If you need support in breaking the pattern of attracting emotionally unavailable partners, I’m here to help. Schedule a Free Relationship Readiness Review with me here. Remember, you are worthy of love and affection, and don’t settle for anything less.


Summer Carroll
Summer Carroll
Summer is an award-winning journalist, author, and ghostwriter who for nearly two decades has covered health, fitness, parenting, relationships, and other wellness and lifestyle topics.
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